“…I call it remembering without fail how much of an asshole you are and reminding myself to leave you the hell alone.”
The thought recently occurred to me that people take the “you hold a grudge” thing too far. In my 33 years on this fecund, bleu marble we call home I have been subject to some serious shit. Some of it unspeakable, some of it I shout about from the roof tops… some of it I use as fodder for my rants, which are merely my musings on life, exaggerated for your comedic pleasure while you read my posts.
As I have acquired more knowledge, gained greater wisdom and applied my burgeoning understanding to life and its powerful frailties, I realize that most of the things we’ve learned about holding a “grudge” is bullshit. The fact is, when someone does something to you that leaves you hurt, you will react. The way in which you react will be dependent on the way that you perceive you were treated and the depth of the relationship you have with the person you feel has wronged you. That being said, if you feel that this person truly disrespected you, how easy is it to truly forgive them and walk away?
Again, I think it depends on the offense, and more importantly how many of these offenses have been committed? How many times has this person disrespected you? Have you made it known how you felt about the issue and have they continued to ignore how you feel?
If the answers are yes, then NO. You aren’t holding a grudge…
Because that terminology implies that you you are baseless in your conclusion. Holding a grudge denotes that somewhere in yourself you are the one that is wrong to for feeling the way that you do and for holding the perpetrator accountable for how they’ve wronged you. But isn’t that the essence of maturing and moving on? Realizing when someone or something is no longer beneficial to you and walking away?
Sure… you can go to far and antagonize the one who hurt you… we’ve ALL been there at some point. I thoroughly admit it. However, even in that moment you are expressing your anger, hurt or frustration. You choose how destructive or constructive that outlet will be…
One transgression may be one too many… but that’s the beauty of us being individuals; we get to decide for ourselves what we are willing to allow and in turn, teach people how to conduct themselves in our circle…
So in the words of a great thinker of our time:
“I don’t call it holding a grudge. I call it remembering without fail how much of an asshole you are and reminding myself to leave you the hell alone.”
- Diva Bleu