Quvenzhané. She has a name.
I feel like the words I need to express my bubbling ire are being dissolved in the acid that is coursing through my veins…
We call 9 year old girls “CUNTS” now? Is THAT what passes for humor in our society? Are we so saturated in ignorance and misogyny that even 9 year old girls aren’t safe from the absolutely coonish behavior exhibited by faux-news outlets?
The Onion hasn’t been even REMOTELY “funny” or even “satirical” since I was probably about 12 or 13. It was right up there with Mad Magazine (which was ALWAYS funny), just enough over-the-top irony and snark to take the major stories of the day down a notch. They have spiraled incessantly since, and have now become the type of organization that would senselessly call a 9 year old girl a CUNT for “laughs.”
Yo… I literally have a crew of comedians I roll with. Hell, they’ve been trying to get me on a stage to do stand-up for years. They all do different types of humor and are all good friends of mine so I hear ALL KINDS of jokes all the time. I’m not naive or ignorant enough to believe that off-color jokes can’t be made and can’t make us laugh. We watch Family Guy and we laugh at the sometimes blatant racial jokes, the jokes about the mentally challenged… we laugh at all kinds of things, as long as they’re ACTUALLY FUNNY.
This shit was not even REMOTELY funny.
There’s no punchline, no biting social commentary… it was literally just some moron in an office at The Onion calling a 9 year old girl a CUNT.
I recently discovered my love of the word cunt. I used to hate it when I was younger, but now I like to say it with bravado and gusto and all the infuriating smugness I can muster… this is usually in reference and reverence to my own lovely and glorious cunt, or as an apropos to some unfailingly bitchtastic woman filling my life with her cuntiness.
I have never… in my life… with all this insane potty mouf I possess… thought to myself… about a little girl… damn… she’s being such a CUNT right now…
But apparently… someone out there thought this was somehow a humorous thing to say about a 9 year old girl. I remember being 9. I was kind of a cunt… I also thought that sunglasses with flip-up lenses and Cross Colors shorts were NEVER going out of style. You know… because I was a KID… with no concept of anything accept being a kid.
Now, I believe this statement came on the heels of young, gifted Quvenzhané Wallis… *gasp* …requesting that an adult “entertainment reporter” (oxymoron much?) call her by HER NAME. It was widely reported shortly before the red carpet festivities that the sweet, cute and amazingly mature Wallis would be playing the title role in the upcoming movie-remake of Annie. A “reporter” stated that she would just call Quvenzhané “Annie” instead of by her unique name. Quvenzhané corrected the “reporter” by telling her, and rightly so, that her name was NOT Annie. How dare any reporter think it remotely OK to not take the time to learn to pronounce correctly the name of someone they are interviewing. I mean… her name is 4 syllables long. It’s not as wild and crazy as folk are making it out to be.
Not to mention the Academy member who REFUSED TO VOTE FOR THIS YOUNG LADY because of HER NAME. FUCK. OUTTA. HERE.
“KWUH. VON. JA. NAY.” Like the group. Y’all remember Zhané, don’t front. Put a “kwuh-von” in front of it. Voila. How hard is that? How illiterate do you have to be to not be able to use your fucking vowels and sound it out??? Phonics struggle is apparently REAL out here. SMH. I had phonics in school. I can read.
But I guess correcting AN ADULT who is in the “news media” (another oxymoron…) on the correct pronunciation of your name makes you a CUNT. Even at 9 years old. The fact that the reporter was a cunt for not taking the 5 seconds to learn how to say it correctly was never addressed.
In this age where we can fully pronounce the vowel-deficient and syllable-laden names of foreign leaders on the news with such finesse (Ahmadinejad, anyone??? And I spelled that FROM MEMORY!!!), can we NOT learn to pronounce the names of our own children?
I pray that the adorable and sweet Quvenzhané doesn’t spend one solitary moment as up in arms about this as we adults have been all day. The Onion, in all their buffoonery have released a statement via Facebook today issuing an apology to Quvenzhané. My question is, why on FACEBOOK? It should be totally public. Not to mention, the offending statement was originally sent (and circulated) using Twitter, why not tweet a link to an apology posted on their website? That would have been slightly more effective if you ask me.
We’re teaching ourselves (and the countries that watch us around the world) that we don’t value and respect our little girls (which we don’t and never have). People have been saying to me that it is her parent’s fault for giving her said name…
Fucking save it.
You have the right to name your child whatever the hell you want. And yes, some ignorant moron may refuse to vote for your child to win an Oscar because of their name… but that doesn’t make the moron right. The child didn’t choose her name and I’m sure that she is proud of her name, despite whether or not any irrelevant outsider is or not, hence her correcting the ignorant “reporter.”
As if our degradation of women wasn’t already in full swing, now we’re adding sweet little Black girls before they even get a chance to be celebrated for their greatness… SMH…
C. U. Next Tuesday, America…