I see you nogoodnik heauxz are still out here, just ignoring Diva’s very sound advice…
And I see how bitter and lonely it’s making you. I have no country for you bitterness. I have no sympathy for your lunatic ways of sabotaging your own lonely, pitiful existences.
Listen. I’m all for uplifting folk and encouraging people to be great nshit. But when you don’t heed advice, you can’t be the one setting out your fucking list of grievances as if you tried the product for 30 days and found it wanting.
Not in MY dojo.
So, after seeing a rant tweet this morning about how someone in my TL is sick and tired of people telling them how to run their love life, how they’re prospectless, and how they refuse to “settle,” I had to take y’all on a ride. This shit has GOT to STOP. I will use them as a metaphor for all that is wrong with this flawed as logic. Who knew 140 characters could convey so much lunacy?
First of all, if you don’t want people to comment on your love life, keep that shit to yourself. I learned that the hard way. This applies to the single and the attached. You have GOT to chill. Single people, if you complain to your attached friends, they WILL give you advice. PERIOD. Why??? Because, attached people want their friends attached too. It’s the law of the universe, if your friends are out here happy; they want that shit for you too… IF they are actually your friend, they want you to be as in love as they are. So if you don’t wanna hear their opinions, SHUT THE FUCK UP. They’re going to give it to you if you seem to even remotely want it. Don’t be a moron.
Also, if you complain to your single friends they’re going to give you their opinion too. Why? Because it’s human fucking nature. You complain to me about a problem? I want to help you fix it. If you don’t feel it’s a problem you won’t complain, so don’t come over here telling me “I wasn’t complaining; I was just making a statement.” Bullshit. Making a statement means we hear about your haggardness only once a year… like around the beginning of Cuffing Season and at NO OTHER TIME. Once you bring it up again, we will assume you are unhappy and try to help you solve your problem. I mean… what the fuck else are we supposed to do?!?!?!?!
Look… single people occasionally feel lonely. That is normal and inevitable. It’s NORMAL to feel a little lonely and to want companionship, that’s human. But pining away isn’t helping you.
Now… we’ve covered your harpy complaining… but now, WHY are you alone? Let’s cover that shit. Because you clearly are clueless… and getting mad at your friends for pointing out what you need to improve in yourself is NOT helping your lonely ass. So sit your fucking ass down and listen… or shut the fuck up.
- Your list of “deal-breakers” is breaking ALL your deals: Ma’am. You are now over 30… maybe even in your 40’s… and you still talmbout, “He can’t have no kids, he gotta have his own car, his own crib, a job, not drink, not smoke, go to church, let me go to the club every other night, cook, clean, save hoes, slay dragons, solve Pac & Biggie’s murders, rescue My Precious from Mordoor, etc…” Chill with that bullshit. A man is simply that… a MAN. He’s not Superman… not eem Batman. He’s a regular dude. WITH FLAWS. Just like YOU, you lonely, judgmental, harpy. Then to say, some dumb shit like, “If he/she doesn’t meet ALL my lunatic criteria, then I’d be settling” means you have NO IDEA WHAT SETTLING MEANS. SETTLING for someone means that you accept disrespect from a person just to avoid being alone. A man who had a baby in their past is NOT disrespectful to you. You’re reaching, and you look like a fool doing so. Ladies, are you trying to tell me that you think you fit all the characteristics these men are placing on you before you step out YOUR door in the morning? Do you have a body like Beyonce, intellect like FLOTUS, ho skills like Trina, your own house, car, money? Are you submissive when you “need” to be, supportive, DRAMA FUCKING FREE??? NO?!?!?!? Well then please have this seat because clearly you are the type of jawn who has NO IDEA WHO SHE IS. Nobody wants you anyway with that shit.
- You’re not presenting yourself in an appetizing way: Now THIS one many of you sorry slores are guilty of, and I can’t with you. Are you dressed like a normal person, or are you dressed like a Kindergartner who picked out their own outfit on the first day of school? Who do you think you are??? Out here over 35 and STILL in the club damn near EVERY night??? Don’t you do anything else with your life??? Do you go to any events in which the men you meet aren’t either full of liquor, yelling at you over music or looking for a 2AM peen parking lot??? NO?!?!?!?! Oh. Welp… good luck finding anything worthwhile in that club. SMH. Do you know that men worth anything at all are NOT IN THE DAMN CLUB every other night??? They are out at networking events, building their business portfolios. They are out at the gym, getting right for a special lady. They are out living life… not spending their nights trying to destroy it. You should be too, heffa. Go better yourself. Take a class. Go to a networking event. And for GAWD’S sake, DRESS NORMAL when you do so.
- You aren’t doing for YOU: This is the most IMPORTANT part of this post… Ma’am, WHAT ARE YOU DOING FOR YOURSELF??? Because if you are bettering your own life, you have no time to complain about how much it sucks to be single. Listen, I was devastated when my last relationship ended. I was about 3 months away from being FULLY common law married. After 10 years with the same person whom I thought hung the moon AND the sun, it was hard. I was in a bad place financially, emotionally… but then I started to change my own life. I thought about the things I really wanted and how to achieve them. I am now a businesswoman, I have a great 9 to 5… I have remodeled my friend circle… I have taken classes… I have had FUN with the people in my life and took it for what it was, a happy moment in time.
The fact is, there are a million reasons to be sad out here. Murder rates, economy, Kimye’s impending fetus entering the word… Don’t spend your time being angry and bitter at your friends for wanting to see your miserable ass happy. We love you. We WANT to see you be great, whether that’s on your own or with a partner. But that can only happen when YOU take control of your shit. So quit your bitchin and get it together. These things I say are not to hurt you but to HELP you. You can listen to my brutally honest ass because I say the shit your friends WANT to say to you but they’re too damn nice. TRUST ME.