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The Cuffing Season: What fun things can you do with your facial orifice? (Or “What dat mouf do?!?!”)

Ahhhh…

Dat mouf…

I’m not really aware WHO started the phrase “What dat mouf do” but I must first say hats off to whomever.  Whether it was Li’l B *wretches* or comedian Lil Duval, thank YOU for placing such an amazingly straight-forward phrase into our lexicon…

And yes, so you know? I got it from the Twitters, so don’t ask.

Disclaimers and respect due out of the way, it is the close of the first week of December.  The #CuffingSeason has been upon us for quite a while; we’re almost halfway through it if you can believe it!  Soon, trade deadlines will be here and it will be time to make that ever important decision of whether to keep your current players or to branch out into the wild and scoop a new flavor for your ice cream truck…

Well, in order to make that decision with any type of lasting conviction, you must ask one all-important question out of your team: “What dat mouf do, tho?”

Now listen, don’t come blaming Diva if you start randomly throwing this phrase at any ol’ body and it ends in disaster.  I am NOT condoning that shit.  No ma’am.  No sir.  I’m just saying, if you’re deciding whether this team is going to the Cuffing Season Bowl, you better know that your players are out here giving it all they’ve got.

Without some very real ability to keep you pleased, there is no reason to NOT cut the weakest performing member from your team EXPEDITIOUSLY.  We are here to be great and if you can’t contribute to that with some true prowess in the application of your facial orifice to the nether regions of your lover, well… what the hell are you here for?

Look… contrary to popular belief, the Cuffing Season is not all about finding the love of your life.  Not that it can’t happen, but NO dating activities should be about that until you have a clear vision of what it is you want, what you need and what you will accept (which, of course, is another post).

That being said, understand folks… having a spectacular mouf game can be the difference between making it all the way #JumpoffSeason with your current boo and being recalled to the team or being kicked to the curb in January and not making the Big Game in May.  Folk have saved their spots the team on the shear STRENPH of their skill, even when they lacked any other discernably useful skill sets… couldn’t cook… couldn’t dance… might couldn’t eem READ.  But dat MOUF??? Yes. Yes LAWD.

I suggest y’all start practicing.  NYE will be here before you know it and the trades follow.  If you time it right, you can bring in 2013 with balls dropping, fireworks popping and a permanent place on the roster.

Good luck!

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