It can’t just be me…
In fact, the reactions I received when I posted my thoughts in one of my Facebook groups proves just that. What, you may ask, am I referring to? Why, the awesomeness of dating in your 30′s, of course!
OK, now before I go any further, let me just say that I was a serial monogamist not too long ago. It was to my detriment and I have since learned that DATING is the answer… Unfortunately for ladies being a serial dater isn’t as socially acceptable as it is for men, but I will be posting more on that later…
Anywho, The point of this particular post is for me to wax poetic on the joys of being over 30, being in the world and actually LOVING it!!!
When I was in my 20′s, I was insane. I mean, it was mostly the good kind; energetic, full of random ideas and projects, vulnerable to a fault and as sassy as I could be (most of this actually still applies). The difference I see is that in my 30′s, I have become more focused and because of it I have found ways to pull all those random ideas into a solid plan of action. I have channeled that energy into doing things that are more productive. My vulnerabilities have become a badge of honor, the best part of who I am because I no longer see them as a liability.
How many of us thought that by 26 or 27 we would be college grads, engaged or married to our high school or college sweetheart, working some amazing job and being the envy of all those in high school who said you would never amount to anything? *raises hand and looks around the room*
That’s the American Dream, isn’t it? Aren’t we all groomed to believe that your 20′s are this magical world where anything can (and WILL) happen? Well, I contend that our 20′s ARE magical, just not for the reasons we believe. To me, it’s like an extension of your teens; you’re still defiant and believe that nothing bad will happen to you. You still have a lot of playful spirit, you just gain the independence that you craved and fought for (remember saying, “I HATE YOU [insert guardian's name here]!!! I can’t WAIT to get OUT OF HERE!!!”) once you turned about 14 or 15… The problem is, with this freedom comes the wild abandon of not being so discerning in the choices you make. So many of us just find one person and fixate on them without fully understanding WHY we make that choice. We fall in love and it’s like we’re finding love in a hopeless place…
The fantasy of being at the top of your life and it all being downhill from 30 also looms in the background, taunting you. theeeennnnn… BAM!!!
You’ve reached the 30′s… And if you don’t feel like it is the most amazing time of your life, you should just go ahead and become a sloth right now because you’re missing the point. With age comes maturity and wisdom, or at least it should. I can’t say that I didn’t make some inglorious mistakes all throughout my lifetime, but it’s the growth that came from it that makes me the content 30-something that I am. That being said, I believe that makes me a better DATER. Why? Because I’ve only really DATED sparsely, otherwise I was in long-term relationships (LTRs). Don’t get me wrong, that’s AWESOME. LTRs are GREAT, when you actually know what you’re doing, LOL! I was clueless about what I wanted when I was younger. To be honest, there are still things I’m not sure about but that’s the beauty of dating when you’re more mature; when you realize that you are really at the beginning of your journey and not the end, you can somehow focus and broaden your opportunities at the same time.
Now, I have the benefit of knowing that:
- You can date without being labeled a slore… Well, this may be debatable depending on how many people you chose to see at once but, the point of dating is that you don’t have to make the commitment of giving anyone a ride in your Mercedes while wearing your raspberry beret… but you don’t hear me tho… ;o)
- Dating is meant for you to get to know what it is you really like! Since I was a serial monogamist in my former life, I didn’t truly have the benefit of using my 20′s as the social smorgasbord it’s meant to be. Now I’m more open to the possibilities. You should be too.
- Being more focused on your goals and pushing yourself to be better makes you infinitely more attractive to the opposite sex… (BUT PLEASE, do whatever it is that you do for YOU and NOT to make yourself more attractive to the opposite sex!!!)
- Love the possibilities. This SHOULD be self explanatory but just in case… You should realize that this is the time of your life where you have the benefit of your 30 years of wisdom to guide you into the right direction. Learn from old situations and be open to new ones. It’s easy to become miserable and mired down with all the clusterfcuk around us, but when we do that we miss the little things. That alone SHOULD make you happy and excited about what’s to come!
Ok… So that’s how I see it. I have a few more in me but I felt the need to post this one first…
Thanks for your time.
Traversing 30: A Random Dating Post About Knowing Thyself,